All Eyes on a Boomer

Thursday, 22 May 2008

Monster or Menopause?

Why is it that so often, the best ideas/thoughts come to us when we are nowhere near a pen or computer?? Like tonight, for example-Here I was, enjoying the warmth of the shower, knowing that all my work had been completed, dinner dishes already washed and packed up, nothing for me to do but think of a good night sleep....So why on earth did I start thinking about Menopause & those affected by it? Seriously! What a strange thought to begin with, and why the shower? The next thing I knew my thoughts were becoming quite comical, with one image after the other, again sceaming out "Pick me! Pick me!" Okay, so rather than waste these strange, but slightly amusing thoughts, I'd like to run them by you.

Menopause was something I never really knew a great deal about, it was almost an alien -like monster that only existed on other planets! I'd come across a few women who at the time of our meeting, had the strange desire to share thier 'menopausal moments'. I'd hear bizarre accounts of intense body perspiration, headaches, the jitters, insomnia and mood swings!As much as I would offer my deep sympathy, to me, they were indeed, one of these strange creatures, and as they told their stories I suddenly realised that perhaps, they were victims of alien abduction? It just didn't seem humanly possible for any one to go through such a nightmare, then live to tell the tale? How could they live a 'normal' life with such horror and worst of all, having no control over it!? Well, here is one story of a real, close encounter...I won't use names, let's just say the woman is Lady X.
It was a lovely sunny afternoon, mid-summer in typical suburbia. My 2 boys sat happily playing their video game in the comfort of our air-conditioned livingroom, I, feet up sipping a nice cup of tea. Suddenly, a loud THUD on my doorstep, followed by a crashing sound! When I opened the door, I was shocked to see Lady X, cussing while she threw her luggage out of her car, onto my verandah! Her clothes drenched in sweat, her face, a firey red colour and her mood...well, scary! Now, Lady X had been staying in our home during her transition stage of moving house, a kind offer from my dear hubby...he had felt sorry for her and her predicament. I carefully stuck my hand out to offer support and almost had it bitten off! She was raging like a mad bull and I knew now was not the time to get in her way, so as she managed her own luggage, I gestured her direction to the back of my house, my children my first thought! Lady X could barely gain control, barely able to speak, she muttered "Just leave me alone, and I will be alright"
For the next half hour, while the kids still continued with their game, I found myself hiding in my bathroom, calling a friend for advice! Soon, the storm passed and it was safe to come back, let's get back to the shower....I recalled this event, and I then wondered....Why is it, that whenever a woman plays the role in a scary film, or a thriller, of a witch or a crazed lunatic, she usually appears to be of the age a woman who may very well be going through Menopause?

Let's face it, the Wicked Witch in The Wizard of OZ, Cinderella's wicked step-mother, the evil grandmother from "Flowers in the Attic", all women portraying evil, scary and sometimes demonic characters, by women of middle age! Is there some sinsister hudden message here? Is this what we become?? I then had a vision of Jason's crazed psychotic mum from "Friday the 13th", the strange woman who worked in Mandalay serving sweet Rebecca...look how whacko she was! I now have a real feeling of pity. Perhaps if someone had stopped and asked if they were having a 'hot flash', or maybe offer them some hormone replacements? My point here is never underestimate the severity of the symptoms...they really do exist but, we are NOT monsters, we merely need some tender loving and understanding. I know this for I too now join the line better be nice to me!

Saturday, 10 May 2008

Mother's day-again

I sat at my computer, staring at all the many documents saved on file. Those already in use, somewhere across cyber-space, and those yet to make their appearance. The latter sit tucked away for a greater purpose, one I know exists but still needs more work. The day they are set free will hopefully, be the day I am able to give the project some closure.
Mother's Day brought about this moment-my memories, my pain. Though in between the sadness, a friend gave me some comfort with her own personal reflection as she too shares the day without her mother. I have no doubt that I will continue to miss my 'mum', but this time round, I am going to look at the event with a more positive outlook, thanks to the words conveyed to me today-

Hope your Mother's Day is filled with every single thing your dear heart desires. Know that you are loved and in my thoughts on this day when mothers are remembered for all the care given without thought of self. I will be remembering my own mother more today and missing her terribly and I know the ache in your heart for your own Mum will be a little sharper today. But lets not be sad, dear one. Let us try to find joy in the fact that God graced us with their presence. There's nothing that will shape the lives of children more than the loving care of a devoted mother and we were both so blessed.
Thanks to my dear sweet friend....this helped me and I pray it will do likewise for any other 'motherless daughters' who might be reading...I'd alos like to share a poem, and a piece of who I am-All thanks to my mother.


Sister o Sister
I know each thought you think
Sister o Sister
I taste the salt that you drink

Together we share the blood of our mother
Two sisters, one love
For her, no other

Do you feel we have drifted?
Two ships lost out at sea
No anchor now holds us
We both sail aimlessly

Sister o Sister
Let’s not float further apart
Know that I need you
I speak from my heart

We cannot discard all we were taught
Such wisdom and much love
Are gifts given, not bought

I too feel frightened
What rules come with ‘grief?’
Simply follow your heart
That is my true belief

Sister o Sister
Mum was brave to the end
Her murmurs kept silent
So broken hearts would mend

Sister o Sister
Let us never lose touch
Sister o Sister
We owe her that much!

Broken hearts broken dreams
Future hopeless, so it seems
Desperate souls crave advice
Words of truth not always nice
Who shall say it without fear?
Trust the words of mother, dear
Friends mistaken for acquaintance
Lessons in the art of patience
Wear a heart upon your sleeve
The mother warns one so naive
Cups of tea poured with sympathy
Warned of misery seeking company
Lead the way, don't just follow
Set examples for tomorrow
Dare to cross each path unknown
Use mistakes as stepping stones
Now a daughter without a mother

These words stand out like no other
I hear her voice through conversation
Bestowed for future generations!
Debbie Stevens Ó 2007

It was the gloomiest day-overcast in their hearts and their minds. The two girls were today saying goodbye to their mother and they were both so afraid.-
from the book, "Follow a Freesia" by Debbie Stevens